The transition to adulthood:
5 ways ‘Stand By Me’ tells the reality of adolescence
The movie does a fantastic job of rendering their unease and vulnerability as they set out into the most important years of their life.
It renders an accurate image of what happens to all of us at a certain point.
It’s essentially a great story about LIFE and the choices we make.
In this article I want to talk about the 5 realities of adulthood beautifully revealed by ‘Stand By Me’.
Here’s what we’ll be covering today:
- ‘Stand By Me’ and it’s symbols of adulthood
- The evolution of friendships
- The role of parents in transitioning to adulthood
- Taking shortcuts in life
- Your reality does not define you
So read on.
‘Stand By Me’ and it’s symbols of adulthood
Although the plot might seem simplistic on the surface, it is actually very symbolic.
The Rite of Passage
First of all, the kids don’t just go on a random journey through the woods. It’s more than that.
They venture on their rite of passage – a ritual has been around since the dawn of civilization.
The age at which the four boys decide to embark on their adventure is NOT arbitrary either.
12 years of age was usually the time when our forefathers would drag young boys into the woods and subject them to a robust test of manliness.
And just like our ancestors did, Teddy, Vern, Chris and Gordie have to endure a series of physical and mental challenges.
From food scarcity to being chased by animals and finally facing a life-and-death situation.
Not to mention desperation, fatigue, doubt and even fear that came along the way.
The similarities with our ancestral ritual are striking.
But at the end of the day, just as in the olden days, the journey changes the boys’ lives forever.
Which alludes to the next symbol.
The road
The road does not simply symbolize a path along the rail tracks.
It’s their path to manhood. It’s THE transition to adulthood.
Along the way, we observe their childish ignorance in so many instances.
For example, they want to become famous and recognized by reporting a dead body.
They don’t bring any food and nearly get run over by trains. In my book, it’s even a miracle they make it alive.
And then we witness their transformation:
“We’d only been gone two days, but somehow the town seemed different. Smaller.”
But it wasn’t the town that had gotten smaller. It was their horizons that had gotten bigger.
They were now young men.
Ace and his gang
As the story unfolds, we are introduced to the up-to-no-good bad seed of the movie.
We see them day-drinking, drunk-driving and even being violent.
They even end up pulling a knife and threatening the kids’ lives as they attempt to steal the glory of discovering the dead boy.
Seemingly, Ace and his gang don’t have any perspectives of ever get back on the right path. It seems as if it’s too late for them to become good.
But they do serve a good purpose for the boys – the one of a crystal ball.
Ace and his gang give the boys a glance into what the future holds for them. That is, if they were to stick around in the small town of Castle Rock.
Unfortunately, not all of them are able to see through the revelation of the crystal ball.
We come to find out that Teddy
‘tried several times to get into the Army but his eyes and his ear kept him out. … he’d spent some time in jail. He was now doing odd jobs around Castle Rock.’
Vern does not seem to have understood it either, as he lingers on in Castle Rock.
It seems, however as if fate has been a little easy on him, as he goes on to become a forklift operator with wife and four children.
Fate works in funny ways.
THE EVOLUTION OF FRIENDSHIPS
Sometimes adolescence and friendships don’t go hand in hand.
Eventually, everyone goes their own way
Who of you still remembers a dear childhood friend, but sadly lost touch with them?
I sure do.
I think this is a lesson we have all learned – that even the best of childhood friendships are sometimes NOT meant to last.
The reality is, at some point in life everyone goes their own way.
And that’s okay. We all venture on our own path. In fact, it is our responsibility to carve our own path.
But the fact still remains that NONE of our superficial adulthood acquaintances will ever amount to our childhood friendships.
‘I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anybody?’
Which brings me to my next point.
Not all of your friends will relate to you
Especially as you transition to adulthood.
Over the course of the film, we see Chris and Gordie’s mutual understanding and admiration.
In fact, it seems as if Chris is the only one of the gang who truly understands Gordie’s aspirations.
The latter is confused, doubtful and somewhat lost. Chris sees right through him though.
That’s not the case with Vern and Duchamp. They hardly ever take interests in Gordie’s internal turmoil. They also don’t seem to share his sentiments about leaving Castle Rock.
We see the contrast when Gordie, a soon-to-be writer, wraps up one of his tales.
Chris does not hold back his recognition, whereas Vern and Teddy have their doubts.
Point being, not all of your friends will share the same sentiments with you.
Let’s explore that a bit further.
True friends accept your weirdness
All of us have a little bit of Vern, Gordie, Chris and Teddy in us.
Vern refers to himself as ‘the fat kid’. He is goofy and insecure and does not stand up for himself.
Gordie plays the role of the more introverted and sensitive boy who ponders upon life’s existential dilemmas
Teddy is the bad*ss with daddy issues who constantly tries to prove his worth to others.
Chris is the boy who came from humble beginnings and went astray, but tries to redeem himself.
They are all weird in their own manner, but they love each other’s weirdnesses.
But what do you know?
We also see Chris and Gordie being bad*ass pulling out and shooting a gun, despite their display of emotions.
At the same time, insecure pushover Vern acts more Alpha than any of them since he was the only one not to shed a tear in the movie.
‘Stand By Me’ resembles ‘Breakfast Club’ in this aspect. The kids who seem to have nothing in common, find out that they are much more alike than they thought.
And that is why true friends accept your ‘weirdness’. Because we all have them.
Gordie: Do you think I’m weird?
Chris: Definitely.
Gordie: No man, seriously. Am I weird?
Chris: Yeah, but so what? Everybody’s weird.
THE ROLE OF PARENTS IN TRANSITIONING TO ADULTHOOD
Parents have a TREMENDOUS effect on their children. Even more so during their transition to adulthood.
Especially young boys who need the role-model figure of their fathers.
We see such STRONG patriarch figures lacking in the lives of the four boys.
We never come to know Vern’s father. Chis’ father is a shady man with a bad reputation. Teddy’s dad is an abusive war veteran, probably with PTSD. Gordie’s father burdens him with his expectations.
All of them are HUGELY influenced by their father or a lack thereof.
The fact that we don’t see Vern’s father tells us that he’s been absent – perhaps not physically, but as a father figure. Which explains the boy’s mellowness and proneness to abuse.
Strangely enough, Teddy aspires to be just like his abusive father who we find out burned his ear in one of his rage episodes.
But here comes the twister – not all children end up like their parents.
Chris wants to become better. He wants to make something out of himself, despite the community’s prejudice towards him.
Gordie on the other hand wants to be a writer. However, confusion sets in as his father burdens him with expectations of becoming a football player.
As a result, he lacks the confidence and the courage to pursue his heart’s calling.
Take notes, because here is a very important note I’m about to make:
Sometimes you need someone else to believe in you for you to flourish.
Even the most talented of children fail because their parents don’t believe in them.
Thanks to Chris, Gordie is able to break the chains of his parents’ expectations and gain the confidence to pursue his own dream.
I like to believe the journey taught Gordie the next reality of manhood:
TAKING THE SHORTCUT ONLY LEADS TO TROUBLE AND PAIN
As we transition to adulthood, we learn this the hard way.
In the movie we see the kids tempted to take the shortcut on various occasions.
The result?
Running for their lives trying not to get run over by the coming train. Being overrun by leeches, which seems harmless until Gordie discovers one in his pants.
So what is the lesson here?
When you go down your journey, whatever it may be, DON’T expect it to be easy.
Sometimes you will have to take detours and long ways around. But it’s just a part of the game.
If you go down the easy path you should expect an even greater resistance than the one you are trying to avoid.
YOUR REALITY DOES NOT DEFINE YOU
I want to wrap up this post with a little message to all of you growing into adolescence.
Your circumstances do not define you. You can’t control them, but you sure can control what’s inside of you.
The reality the kids live in is straight up BAD. Let’s think about it.
They smoke at the age of 12.
Ace and his gang are a mirror of the Castle Rock’s mentality.
Their parents are either a**holes or absent. I mean, the boys are gone for 2 days straight and no one bats an eye.
If I was gone 2 days, my parents would be running search groups day and night. Just saying.
Anyways, we see all these predicaments. And somehow Gordie and Chris manage to defy their circumstances and make it through.
Unfortunately, we can’t say the same for Teddy and Vern.
But the fact still remains.
You are not your parents. You are not your circumstances. Your reality does not define you.
The transition to adulthood is all about reinventing yourself and becoming a stronger version of yourself.
After this bitter-sweet reminiscing of the transition to adulthood, I’m giving the word to you.
Did ‘Stand By Me’ bring up any nostalgic memories from your childhood?
Perhaps it made you want to call up your old childhood buddies?
Or did it remind you that you need to be a better role model for your young ones?
Let me know down below.
