How to deal with your parents’ expectations according to Nietzche
(In three simple steps)
Your parents are the number one influencer in your life.
In fact, oftentimes they will be the first ones to HOLD YOU BACK once your dreams start to diverge from their expectations.
Naturally, they will try and talk you out of what they think is NOT right for you.
It happens in every family.
But today, I want to give you a little extra motivation to pursue your own thing, WITHOUT causing too much drama.
First and foremost, I want you to stop being resentful towards your parents. They have your best interest in mind and want the best for you.
That being said, your parents’ expectations are not necessarily the right choice for your personal development.
In fact, more often than not, people who follow their parents’ expectations of them end up SUFFERING.
I have been there myself, which is why I decided to share these insights with you.
With the help of Friedrich Nietzche’s ‘Thus Spoke Zarathustra’ I will show you exactly how to break the chains of your parent’s expectations.
The reason I chose this book is that it reflects Nietzche’s ideas of the ‘Overman’ – a pillar in the realm of personal development.
Nietzche believed that the next step in our evolution is the birth of men who will rise beyond society’s values.
Overmen will not be affected by any ideological constructs set by society, family, friends, etc. They will create their own set of values and live by them.
They will have mental freedom from expectations. And that’s exactly what I want to teach you.
So let’s see the three stages of letting go of your parents’ expectations.
Stage 1: Realizing your parents’ expectations are a NECESSARY burden
According to Nietzche’s ‘Thus Spoke Zarathustra’, we start off our spiritual journeys as camels wandering through a desert.
The camel is a beautiful metaphor for a number of reasons.
It’s essentially an obedient animal that kneels down and lets others unload their burden on its back.
We spend a good portion of our life doing the exact same thing. We bow down and submissively let others lay their ideas and expectations upon us.
This happens exclusively in our childhood, where we are told what to do and think by the likes of our parents and teachers.
We literally sleepwalk through life, just like in a desert: lost, with no clear path ahead, and worst of all – no end in sight.
But here’s the kick – we ABSOLUTELY NEED the camel’s obedience in order to evolve.
As the years go by, we keep piling up expectations up to a point where we can no longer endure.
And it is not so much the load itself that makes it unbearable for the camel, as the loneliness of the desert and the lack of meaning.
At a certain point, it starts craving for meaning. It desires to break the chains and carve its own path.
That is when we mature into lions.
Stage 2: Crushing your parents’ expectations with ‘I will’
As the camel evolves into a lion, there is now a refusal to take any more burden. But it does not end there – the lion sets out to destroy the existing oppressor – a dragon named ‘Thou Shalt’.
Another beautiful metaphor by Nietzche. Think of all the Thou Shalts that have followed you all your life.
Thou shalt behave like a good boy (despite repressing your inner masculinity).
Thou shalt get straight As (even though the subject is meaningless to you).
Thou shalt get a steady job (not necessarily the one you love).
Thou shalt get a mortgage (although you can’t afford it).
Listen to me, your parents’ expectations end TODAY. Today you become a LION.
And I don’t mean this in a violent way. Here’s what I mean:
TODAY you destroy all the Thou Shalts with the help of TWO weapons. In your right hand you wield ‘I WILL’ and in the other you wield the even more dominant ‘NO’.
You wield your ‘NO’ and ‘I WILL’ and you become the sole guiding force in your life. You become the master of your own fate. You create your own values and ideas.
And once you have shattered all external ideas trying to enslave you, you will become reborn.
Stage 3: Becoming free of your parents’ expectations
According to Nietzche, once you defeat the Thou Shalts you shall become like a child.
I’m running the risk of repeating myself here, this is another fantastic metaphor.
Just like children who are pure and still unburdened (yet), you will approach the world with your own convictions.
They say we are happiest in our childhoods because we are not conditioned yet by the world. That’s what Nietzche tries to tell us.
The child is innocent, perhaps ignorant at times, but nevertheless wields its own will before being enslaved by external ideas.
As Steven Gambardella puts it, ‘Nietzsche believed that the truly free spirit will resemble children at play, who discover the world for the first time, unburdened by what came before…’
With the little help of our dear old friend Nietzche, I presented a metaphoric 3-step process for you to follow.
You now have the tools to fight your parents’ or anyone else’s expectations.
Which stage are you currently at?
Or perhaps you are still gathering the courage to become a lion?
Either way, I am interested to see how you dealt with your parents’ expectations of you.
Let me know down below!
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Make sure you read my blog post on the 13 LIFE-CHANGING personal development quotes by Marcus Aurelius!
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